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Sunday, March 9, 2014
Changing Violent Behavior
My boyfriend have been abusive toward me. For the past five months I refused to see or speak with him. He is a grown man and his violent behavior has escalated. However, now I found myself speaking with him by phone and listening to him cry to me how sorry he is. He claims that he is going to get help? If it wasn`t for his abusive behavior he is a hard working and pretty nice guy, but when he feels he is being pushed against a wall he goes completely off. Can someone like this change?
I can’t tell you what to do with your personal life. The agreement to get counseling is a good first step. How successful it would be depends on many things, including continuing it as long as is necessary and how closely he follows the counselor’s recommendations. There are programs specifically for batterers, for example there are three in the Cleveland area: The Center for the Prevention of Domestic Violence, Batterers Intervention Program and Templum House Batterer’s Intervention Program. As you pointed out with your boyfriend, abusers were often abused as children, bear that in mind with respect to your own children. The YWCA has the Women helping Women program (1-888-872-9259) in the Cincinnati area, if you search under Domestic Violence there are numerous websites with national, state and regional numbers that can be of immense help.
Kenneth Davis, Jr, MD, FACS
Professor of Surgery and Clinical Anesthesia
College of Medicine
University of Cincinnati