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Saturday, November 1, 2014
Erectile Dysfunction (ED)
Problems getting and maintaining an erection
I have been dating a 33 year old, otherwise healthy, man for the past 4 months and in the beginning of the relationship we had a wonderful and fufilling sexual realtionship. We had relations several times a week. He maintained an erection for a good amount of time and also ejaculated everytime. Now it seems that he cant get or maintain an erection. He says this is normal and that its something I have to get used too. He claims it is ED~ my question is this, if he has ED is it normal not to "kick in" until the relationship settles and the "newness" wears off. Is there something I can do to help with this situation, (other than what I have already tried) or should I accept this and get used to the idea of not having sex on any kind of regular basis. We have had sex 4 times in 5 weeks and I just dont think for his age and our relationship that this is normal. Should he been seen for this by a doctor?
It sounds as though the male partner has decided to make an abrupt change in your sexual relationship and this is not to your liking. It seems that the change in the sexual repertoire may be normal or may be a bit premature. The discouraging feature is that your male partner has decided that this is normal, while you do not agree.
If you are unhappy then your partner needs to listen to you and work things out in an attempt to make you happy. If he declines, and you wish to remain in this relationship, then you either:
- Agree to the decrease in sexual frequency
- Push him to more frequent sex
- Seek out a therapist who may be able to help work things out
Or you can end the relationship.
Allen D Seftel, MD
Formerly, Professor of Urology
School of Medicine
Case Western Reserve University