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Mental Health

My son

06/04/2007

Question:

As a mom, I am feeling quite helpless today and googled "how to help someone get mental health help" Thank you for the information. It helped me... now I need to figure out how to use it to help my son. My son had a mental breakdown Aug 06. He was 27 and came to us at the time for help, with the urging of his girlfriend( a nursing student)He was obviously tormented, had not been sleeping or eating, and paranoid. He was afraid to go back to a job where he was well liked and was doing very well. We got him into his MD who had seen him several times after a fatal accident he witnessed and narrowly missed being involved in. We had urged him, as had the MD to get counseling. We also got him in for an emergency evaluation at the Mills Center in Marysville. The counselor didnt feel he needed hospitalization but recommended counseling. He said he wanted to give the medicine time to work. To make a long story short, he is still not employed. He is doing piecemeal work for my father 2-3 days a week. He is not trying to get a job. He blames the breakdown on the men he was working with at the job where he worked at the time at the breakdown. It is obvious this breakdown has caused a major disruption in his life. He has been steadily employed since he was 18 years old, bought his own house at 21. and has always been responsible. Alcohol and drugs have never been a problem. He was a low maintenance kid as he grew up. We are paying for his Effexor, prescribed by the MD, but I know he needs more help. He is very stubborn and resistant to counseling. He seems quite himself in all ways, except his obsession with disliking the people at the job where he had the breakdown and his avoidance of getting a job. Our family believes somehow this is related to watching his friend be killed by the falling crane when he had the job with the construction company. He admits to having depression shortly after the accident, but ofcourse, didnt have time for any counseling. We had been warned about PTSD but had no idea. If you have any suggestions for what our family can do ( without bugging him to death) to encourage him to get help, please let me know. I am wondering if showing him this article would help him at all. I know you cant do much with what I have just shared but any suggestions wouldbe appreciated.

Answer:

You have described a certainly difficult situation with your son, who has clearly had a difficult course recently. Obviously, it is difficult to make a diagnosis or recommend treatment without a direct evaluation. However, you can work with your existing resources in the following possible ways.

You could begin by asking your son how he thinks that he is doing at home and with the limited work. You can also ask him his thoughts on future employment, given his positive work history. How does he plan to go about this?

After he replies to all these questions, you can offer your opinions on the same. For example, you can acknowledge that his former colleagues may have played a role with the events there, but they are not likely to have an ongoing relationship with him now or help him improve his situation. Thus, it is up to your son himself to take constructive steps with his own life.

You can ask him about his sources of dissatisfaction with his current treatment team and process. What does he not like? What could change to make that process easier? What can the family do to facilitate that process while respecting some privacy? If it were simply a question of “pulling himself up by the boot straps,” he would have done that by himself long ago. It is perfectly reasonable to turn to others when the situation is not so facile and clinical.

You can also add that you will continue to be available to him in any way that he would like, because you also are interested in his doing well.

May it go well for your son and all of you.

For more information:

Go to the Mental Health health topic, where you can:

Response by:

NetWellness Staff
NetWellness.org