Home HealthTopics Health Centers Reference Library Research
Join us on Facebook Join us on Facebook Share on Facebook

Wellness Center

Virginity

02/26/2008

Question:

im 19 year old boy ,very recently my girlfriend forced me for sex and wen iwas trying to penetrate she started crying , however i didnt even thrust the full head of my penis but yeah a little bit just a little bit went in ... ami stilla virgin ..is my girl stilll one..pleaes let me know as im in agony and i dont kon who to apprioach

Answer:

A virgin is someone who has not engaged in vaginal or anal intercourse with someone of the opposite sex or the same sex. The reason your girlfriend cried and found it painful when you attempted to penetrate her vaginally is because she is indeed a virgin with a tight hymenal opening. It is painful when the hymenal membrane is stretched. The head of your penis is the broadest portion of your penis and, therefore, causes the most stretching and pain for women with an intact hymen.

I suspect that your girlfriend was in both physical and psychological distress. She understood that she was violating the norms of her family. I believe you know that you were as well. I am glad you both stopped before you both violated family and religious values that seem to be very important to you both.

I must also comment on your statement that she "forced you to have sex." Unless she applied restraints to you and threatened your life with a weapon if you did not perform sex with her, you were not forced to have sex with her. It is important in intimate relationships to take responsibility for your choices to act or not act. Intimate relationships should emerge from genuine caring and respect between sexual partners. Causing psychological and spiritual harm to one another by violating each other's virginity lacks mutual caring and respect. I am happy that you did not do that to one another.

For more information:

Go to the Wellness Center health topic, where you can:

Response by:

Mary M Gottesman, PhD, RN, CPNP, FAAN Mary M Gottesman, PhD, RN, CPNP, FAAN
Professor of Clinical Nursing
College of Nursing
The Ohio State University