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Mental Health

I am an excessive daydreamer

06/11/2009

Question:

I WANT TO QUIT HABIT OF DAYDREAMING.

I am a 24 yr old girl. YOU MAY FIND THIS QUITE BIG AND BORING BUT PLEASE DO READ ,AS I REALLY NEED HELP.

I have a very big problem of daydreaming. My upbringing was very good. My parents have always been caring, loving, supportive. i have always been a very good student . I have always scored more than 85% in my exams till my graduation . I do not have any sibling or first cousins. I have always been very shy & a bit of introvert & so i always had very few friends.

I have been daydreaming since i was 13 yrs old. I was very fascinated by a cartoon (action animation)& i used to imagine as being like one . I used to imagine myself as the most popular kid in my school (`coz i was not). Even in college i used to daydream that i am d best friend of d guy who was my crush . I never spoke to him coz i used to feel awkward & i had inferiority complex. And not only this , i daydream about lot of other stuff. The day i see an action movie i start fantasizing and it remains in my head even for a week. Also I do masturbate ,sometimes thrice a week.

Its only now that i have realised how badly its affecting me. since few months i often daydream whether i am in train, in d toilet or while having lunch etc. about something or the other. i am from a science field. I realised that on d day of one interview, i was actually stammering and shaking. I was terribly nervous inspite of knowing all the answers.

Its also affecting my speech. Sometimes i am at a loss of words. My vocablary has become poor. i am not very social. some how i lack confidence. My body language is not quite graceful. I have also become addicted to television and have become very lethargic. I keep procastinating. Its also affecting my alertness and my memory.

i always wanted to pursue PhD in my subject . But now-a-days i am so lost in ny world that i rarely study. When a book is in front me i concentrate for sometime & when i take a break i am again lost in my thoughts.

I cannot tell this to anyone for i know my mom would just tell me that as we are financially good ,i dont have any disturbance in my house ...... so i should study well..... Hence i am writing to you. Thank You for reading the entire matter. PLEASE HELP ME.

Regards, daydreamer.

Answer:

Dear Daydreamer, Thank you for your question. As I see it, daydreaming is one feature for you. On the one hand, it is impossible for anyone to have perfect attention throughout the day. Similarly, it is natural to fantasize about alternate activities instead or the future. On the other hand, you are describing how such wandering attention is affecting you more broadly these days.

There is a second feature. Namely, you mention "nervous" in passing, but your description makes me wonder how pervasively "nervous" or anxious you are. As such, this can certainly affect your speech, interactions with others, how you see yourself, and your energy. This can affect your ability to motivate yourself and complete a task. Hence, your concern about procrastination.

What you are describing is entirely suitable for and treatable in outpatient treatment. I recommend that you seek this wherever you are. Your British usage makes me wonder where you are located. Nevertheless, I recommend using your resources to seek such an evaluation, plus the option of medications.

In my experience, when patients with such anxiety present for treatment and stabilize, they ask themselves why they waited so long for the evaluation in the first place. Good luck.

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Response by:

Ram Chandran  Kalyanam, MD Ram Chandran Kalyanam, MD
Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry
College of Medicine
The Ohio State University