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Mental Health

I Feel Tremendous Guilt All the Time

10/21/2009

Question:

A year ago my 22 year old son had an incus transposition surgery. He still has problems with his ear and has hearing loss. Now he wants to have hearing aids as his hearing is lower more. While this happened very suddenly last year as his condition should have been looked after as it has been there a long time. I am devastated as he never showed any sign of hearing loss the whole this time and since I suffer from hearing loss myself I feel a tremendous guilt as a parent as I feel I should have noticed this for him. I do feel I have not done my job as a parent and I do feel I have to be punished for this. I can not bear the sight of him wearing a hearing aid.

Answer:

As a conscientious parent, it is naturally difficult to see a son or daughter suffer, let alone considering how our actions may have contributed to this.

It would be one matter if your son exhibited hearing loss that you didn't address. However, you commented that he had no symptoms previously. I'm not sure what more you could have done. The hearing aids and the hearing loss ultimately would have a greater impact on him than you.

It would be fair for you to focus on the positive that your son is open about his hearing now and willing to undergo an evaluation.

Thank you for visiting NetWellness.

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Response by:

Ram Chandran  Kalyanam, MD Ram Chandran Kalyanam, MD
Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry
College of Medicine
The Ohio State University